In the age of weight loss drugs, Instagram face and an endless scroll of Facetuned bodies, it can be difficult to love how your body looks.
But what if you could change the way you think about your body?
Psychologist Diana Hill, a specialist in acceptance and commitment therapy, helps her clients practice mental exercises rooted in "body image flexibility." It's a term from the field of psychology that describes the ability to cope with uncomfortable feelings about your looks.
Body image flexibility doesn't require you to love how your body looks, or even feel neutral about it. It's more about what you do when you have negative thoughts about it.
"How much energy and time are you putting into obsessing about [your looks] in the mirror versus engaging in your life and the things you care about?" Hill says.
Hill, co-author of ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, shares exercises to help you stay present — and deal with the very real pressures we face to obsess about and alter our appearance.
Focus your attention inward
When you look in the mirror and all you can see is your nose, belly, acne or wrinkles, practice flexible attention. That means being mindful of negative thoughts about body image — and redirecting them.
One way to do this, Hill suggests, is to turn your attention to what's happening inside your body instead. Think about all the things your internal organs are doing right now. Are you hungry or full? Does your stomach feel tense or relaxed? Are you feeling nervous? Excited? Happy? Calm?
"It's what we call 'interoceptive awareness,'" Hill says. "It's associated with benefits like better ability to pay attention to hunger and fullness, and better empathy and interpersonal awareness."
Appreciate what your body can do
You can also turn your attention outward by focusing on your body's functionality, Hill says. Ask yourself: How are you using your body at this moment?
You might say, "Right now, I'm sitting on the floor. My eyes are seeing a tree," Hill says. Then take a moment to appreciate those physical abilities. "My eyes may not always be able to see a tree the way I can see a tree now. My ears are receiving sounds. My body is breathing in air. These are ways in which my body is connecting me to this world."
Interrogate your intentions
If you're uncomfortable with a body part, say, your stomach, and are in the habit of sucking it in to make it appear smaller, take a moment to notice that behavior, Hill says. Then, ask yourself some questions.
- Are there times when you're sucking your stomach in more — or less? "There may be times when you let it go a little bit because you feel safer. Maybe you're alone on a hike or in bed," Hill says.
- Is how you feel about your stomach based on a message you've received from culture and society? "Is that messaging [what] you want to believe and let guide your life?" Hill says.
- How do your feelings about your stomach affect your daily life? "Are you less comfortable in your clothes? Are you distracted? Are you not standing up and speaking in front of a group?" Hill says.
This exercise may help you see that "there's a whole slew of things that are happening at the biological level, the psychological level and the social level," Hill says, that leads us to "just automatically shut off a part of our body."
Do an energy audit
"Get honest about how much time and effort is going into your body and where it's taking energy from your life," says Hill. Maybe you're spending a lot of time posting selfies for likes on Instagram, or buying beauty products.
Then ask yourself: What fuels your energy in relationship with your body? "Maybe it's being outside, doing movement you enjoy or playing with your dog," Hill says.
Swap some of the time you spend focusing on your image with another activity that helps you enjoy your body.
"Every little bit of energy you're putting into sucking in your stomach or [feeling] distracted by your shiny face pulls away energy from you," Hill says — your creative force, your ability to connect and your talents. "And what people want is you."
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This story was edited by Meghan Keane. The visual editor is CJ Riculan. We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.
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